It takes a village

Well, the village moved in today. Lingling, Dario and Grandma and Grandpa Wang arrived off of the boat from Shanghai this morning with a ton of luggage and 50 kg of rice. Lingling was furious that Japan Customs confiscated all of her preserved meat. So I think we have enough room for all five of us here for the next 4 weeks. It's the in-laws first time out of China so I am looking forward to hearing their translated impressions.

American me

17 years living abroad...so what keeps me "American?" My British friends would immediately point to that nasal accent, well that never leaves, unless I decide to speak with a Finnish tilt, stressing the first syllable of every m-fing word. No thanks. There's channel 722, the Fox Network on satelite, but I'm only up to season 2 of "That '70s Show." Really, the only two things that really bind American together are what TV shows we watch and what products we buy (thank God for that COSTCO outlet in Sonoda!) And whether we vote our states Blue or Red, those of us who do vote. Sure, there's my work for Democrats Abroad, but that is just a front for money laundering (just kidding, people).

No, what keeps me going is getting my hands on a recent copy of the New Yorker every week at one of my university libraries. I devour everything starting first with the cartoons, then the feature articles, followed by the tiniest details of the shows on off-Broadway, down to those full page explanations that are part of the pharmaceutical advertisements: "Sleep medicines may cause a special type of memory loss or 'amnesia.' This is usually not a problem because most people fall asleep after taking the medicine.' Trippy. I can then pretend I have my finger on the pulse of the country.

My favorite cartoon from this week, Aug. 29, has a knight on horseback, pulling a large wagon and speaking to a princess standing at the door of the castle
"I couldn't find fresh dragon, so I got frozen.'

In search of bad English T-shirts in Ame-mura

Got out of the house around 1 pm and jumped on my bicycle, riding up Sennichimae Blvd over the hill past Tsuruhashi area and Uehonmachi then down the hill to Namba and our old neighborhood. Turned right and went south into Den Den town, the electronics district to check trends and prices and to look for old 168pin SDRAM memory chips.
A lot of shoppers out, probably skipping their duty as citizens to vote in today's general election. Neat gadgets abounded, mini DVD players with screens for 12000 yen, burners for 6000-some shops were gone from cutthroat competition, and a whole lot more manga, porn, action figure and cosplay establishments had taken their place. Dawdled until 3pm then headed up to American Village (Ame-mura), the Harajuku of Osaka, to search for the slippery and elusive bad English T-shirt slogan.

Here's what I retrieved after about an hour of hanging out inside the explosion of colors and fashion in that trendy part of town:

"A lie is told to its feelings"
"Lack of Regard - This Horse Rules the Yard"
"Be nice I've been sick"
"Glitter Cordless"
(on a hottie) "My mouth is filled pleasure of supremacy"

I give these passing grades but I look for those shirt slogans that convey a secret message to me only, such as the one I saw on the day after the November 2004 Bush-Kerry election debacle -
"Losers are always wrong."

These are all going into the book I am planning to write. Watch this space.

My blurb plagarized with permission

same ad copy, tarted up with graphics on alt.slack
friend's site:

Kooksites

click ad link at the top of the page

Waist deep in the Big Muddy

Turns out, as usual, I'm a day late and a dollar short with this
money making idea. Someone already has it up on E-Bay.

DR.VOODOO'S GENUINE NEW ORLEANS FLOOD WATER.
You can now own 2 ounces of the water that destroyed
the city, a souvenir you will treasure! Packed in
a clear but unbreakable lucite vial, the same type the
crack dealers use, this real sample of the very same
water pumped outta the city comes complete with
a genuine certificate of authenticity and a chemical
analysis, listing real E.Coli bacteria, oil, decaying
human flesh, rum, sewage, toxic chemicals and other
trace elements. Amaze your friends but do not open
the vial unless you are planning to use it in a voodoo
curse or to poison your local, state or federal public
official. $25 postpaid includes Biohazard shipping costs,
vial, display stand, certificate and manual. 10% of all
proceeds go to Katrina relief. Accept no substitutes.
Y'all git some 'fore it's all gone!