Novo Anno Padroni, No Al Suono de Bastoni!

I greet you all in this the new year where I can safely predict,
without a shadow of a doubt, that this lap around the sun will
be a pretty historic one, you watch. The Rev. Pat Robertson,
that respectible reflection of Jim Jones, has told his God-fearing
flock that nuclear or bio-terror will cause megadeaths in the
U.S.A "in the second half of the year," giving everyone time to
stock up on duct tape while maxing out their credit cards in
contributions to his church.  The North Koreans, feeling ignored
AGAIN, will push the button on another nuclear test.  "Remember,
this is only a test."  I downloaded an animated .gif file of Saddam
going through the trapdoor and when you watch it in a continuous
loop you start to feel better about your life.  "You think you
have problems, look at me WHOOPS!"  What the Americans
should have done was set him up in Tikrit as their puppet, on
the condition he beat the Sunnis into shape to cut a deal.  Hey,
my eternal hosts the Japanese did it with the Last Emperor Pu
Yi in Manchuria.  Too late and now, thanks to one little Nokia
camera phone (that now belongs in amuseum), the War really
really really really is lost.  Today, there's a new report of a 2nd
cellphone sequence that shows the dead Saddam WITH HIS
THROAT CUT.   There's always room for more deathporn, people.

Of course, if the war is lost try telling that to  George II, who
now wants to muddle through the blood and  mud  until Jan 2009
so he can hand the football over to a new Quarterback at the
conclusion of a tied 4th Quarter for "Sudden Death Overtime."  
Then he's hitting the showers and going to Disneyland.   At this
moment, who should conveniently pass away but President
Gerald Ford.  The news and blog commentary on his role as a 
Republican healer after Watergate, of his conduct as genuine leader 
who consulted experts and Representatives from both sides of
the House and Senate and who  even encouraged dissent, was
 so thick with irony and nudges towards the current President
you could cut it into little squares and sell them as Pet Rocks for
4.95 each.  

So let's cue the key word on this week's Pentagon Powerpoint
presentation - THE SURGE.   The idea is that 20,000 - 40,000
more U.S. combat troops (along with some Kurdish Peshmerga
militia masquerading as Iraqi Army units) will somehow bring
security to Baghdad so that we can finally start handing out
minimum wage jobs to unemployed Iraqis is prima facie absurd.  
The muttering beneath the "Sir Yes Sirs!" of our Generals is
vintage 1970.  Oh, I support the troops. I support them so much
that I am willing to go out on a limb here.  Our fledgling
democracy might be served and even be strengthened, in the
long run, by a swift temporary military coup d'etat, led by some
good looking and dynamic Lieutenant Coronels, that throws out
Bush and Cheney and the Generals, salutes then lowers the flag
in the Green Zone before pulling out of Baghdad (cue cheering
privates going home) , then gallops off into the sunset after
handing the keys to the Oval Office to Speaker Nancy Pelosi.  
There, I said it.  If that's sedition, then, 'bring it on.'  
You can find me in my cave bunker hideout in the
hills of Nara.

In closing I'll tell you the title for this post - it's from a street
graffitto an old friend, Steve Turchen, translated for me as we
walked down the medeval streets of Padova, Italy in the late
70s when the whole country was going apeshit:
"Happy New Year Bosses - but to the sound of Clubs."